“What about “justifiable” anger? If somebody cheats us, aren’t we entitled to be mad? Can’t we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.”
I have always thrived on conflict. The truth is that underneath the “justifiable” anger is a problem with my self-esteem and ego. As I go through my day, I routinely come across issues that trigger my anger. I get that tightness in my stomach as I instinctively prepare for battle.
My anger instinct gets triggered constantly. My insurance carrier denying coverage for necessary treatment for the fourth time, a driver cutting me off or honking at me, the cable company telling me that if I eliminate the movie channels my monthly rate will go UP, etc. The list seems to be infinite.
Are these legitimate reasons to get angry? Of course they are! But, if my new objective in life is to find peace and happiness, anger throughout my day must be eliminated. It is a process that has not come quickly or easily for me. My goal is to be in a place where I don’t get angry, where I find acceptance as my default response. Acceptance does not mean I roll over rather, I can accept the situation as it is and deal with it from an unemotional place. This is part of my 10th Step work each day.